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  宝龙

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  推荐给书友，绝对好书，很吸引人不枯燥，长知识，不想剧透内容，但一定要读到最后！祝阿伦森教授健康！

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  Wen

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  从长者的叙述里可以学到很多。 >> 我们可以接受，也可以拒绝，但是别抱怨。绝对不能抱怨这一手烂牌，而是要尽自己所能打好这副牌 >> 学习的目的不仅仅是强化我们自己的信仰，也包括聆听和讨论诸多严肃学者的各种观点。 >> 斯坦福心理学系拥有一批一流的教授，但没有谁像费斯廷格一样在学术研究中兼具卓越的技能、过人的才华和严谨的态度。费斯廷格不允许我们在没有证据的情况下妄下结论。他告诫说：“如果你想超越数据本身，那就是在推测你下一个实验项目的假设。”他认为妄下论断的行为不仅草率而且近乎不道德，称其为“耍滑头”。 >> “我懂你的意思，”贾森说，“那也是我以前最喜欢的一段。但你知道吗？坐过几次过山车后，我突然醒悟，我之所以没法享受其余的路程，是因为我只等待那一时刻的到来。于是我跟自己开了个玩笑，假设自己最喜欢开始冲下陡坡的那一刹那。于是发现我总是在等待那一时刻的来临，而忽略了其他路程的美妙。我又往后退一段，假设自己最喜欢爬坡那一段……终于，我发现选择最喜欢的一段其实是很愚蠢的，因为每一段都是过山车行驶中不可或缺的环节——上下起伏，爬上去、落下来，缓缓地转弯，又骤然扭转，这些都是过山车行驶中的一部分。”

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  🇰evin

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  全书将作者自己的人生故事、学术成就、社会心理学的重要人物和理论，以及20世纪美国重大历史事件交织在一起。对学界人士而言，能够从此书一窥美国社会心理学60年的发展脉络；对普通读者来说，阅读此书能感受一位学术大师严谨的治学态度、高尚的心灵和不凡的人生经历，悟出隽永深邃的人生哲理。        阿伦森通过自己的经历回答了困扰我们所有人的人生问题:“去哪里？与谁同行”，通过自己的故事告诉我们要永不言弃，积极向上，人是可以改变的，事业，爱情一切都会通过自己努力奋斗而获取，美好的未来就在我们每天的努力中。 你是自己心中的王子公主，你是最棒的。

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  克伟

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  阿伦森：从腼腆笨小子到顶级心理学家 Aronson is known as "the most famous living American social psychologist." 阿伦森被称为“当今美国健在的最伟大的社会心理学家”。 In his autobiography, he talked about how he went from a shy boy to top psychologist. As follows: 在自传里他讲到自己是如何从腼腆笨小子成为顶级心理学的。如下： In 1935, my father lost his stores. We became destitute. Our house was intellectually impoverished as well. I never saw my mother reading a book. 1935年，父亲的商店倒闭了，我们变成了穷光蛋。伴随着物质匮乏，我们也成了精神上的穷光蛋。我从未见母亲读过一本书。 I was a shy child. In school when called upon I was barely able to respond to the question. 儿时，我特别腼腆。在学校若被老师点名回答问题，我总是很少能回答上来。 My brother Jason was the only person in my family to see me as a youngster with a lot of potential. He taught me that hard work could be fun, and that having fun was important. 哥哥贾森是家里唯一认为我潜力无穷的人。他告诉我要苦中作乐，学会感受快乐是很重要的。 When my father died I was about to enter my senior year of high school. Uncle Fred dominated the meeting. He proposed that Jason stay in college. I should get a job, so that I could support them. 父亲去世时我即将念高三。弗雷德舅舅主持了那次家庭会议。他提议贾森继续在大学求学，而我去找工作，供养他们。 Jason immediately saw through the facade—money, and how not to spend it on us. Jason said, “Screw that! Elliot is going to go to college, and it’s not going to cost any of you a red cent. He and I can both work our way through school.” 贾森一下子就捕捉到了关键——钱。贾森听出了弦外之音：舅舅不愿接济我们家。贾森喊道：“胡说八道！阿伦森要上大学，我们都可以半工半读，不会花你们一分钱。” “What about your mother and sister?” Uncle Fred asked. “Ma knows how to work,” Jason replied. “你母亲和妹妹怎么办？”弗雷德舅舅问。 “妈妈会去工作。”贾森答道。 Noisy argument ensued, but Jason was resolute. His year at college had opened a world of possibilities for him, and he wanted me to enter that world, too. Jason turned to my mother and said, “Ma, you can do it.” 大家都在七嘴八舌地争论我的出路，贾森的态度却异常坚决。大学为他开启了一片充满机遇的天地，他希望我也能走进那片天地。贾森对母亲说：“妈妈，你肯定行的。” I hated high school, the teachers were burned out and boring. I didn’t think I was smart enough, and even if I got admitted, I couldn’t afford to go. Jason tried to convince me that I could earn a scholarship as he had done. “But I’m not as smart as you are!” I protested. 我讨厌高中生活，学校老师几乎个个无精打采，讲课乏味。我天生就不聪明，而且即便考上了也没钱去读。贾森试图说服我像他一样申请奖学金。“我又没你那么聪明！”我立马反驳。 He grabbed me by the shoulders and said, “Look, schmuck, do you want to spend your life pushing a baby buggy down Shirley Avenue?” 贾森伸出双手紧紧抓住我的肩膀，说道：“笨蛋，你真想过那种推着婴儿车，沿着雪莉大街闲逛的日子吗？” That was a chilling image. For years, he and I had observed guys in their early twenties who had married their high school sweethearts, were soon saddled with children, had taken miserable dead-end jobs. 那真是一幅令人不寒而栗的画面。那些年，我俩目睹了许多早早地就跟高中女友结婚的小伙子，才20出头便身为人父，干着没啥前途的低贱工作。 The mere thought of that fate scared me into trying harder. I was accepted at Boston University, Northeastern, and Brandeis. 就是因为怕沦落到那种境地，我才开始发愤学习。被波士顿大学、东北大学和布兰迪斯大学录取。 One night, the phone rang. It was Jason, calling to tell me he had been diagnosed with cancer in his shoulder. I went straight to the airport, hoping that there had been some horrible mistaken diagnosis. Five days later, I wished it were only the shoulder he would lose. 一天晚上，家里的电话铃声突然响起。电话是贾森打来的，他的肩膀被诊断出了癌症。放下电话我直接去了机场，希望只是一次可恶的误诊。没想到5天后，我却在想，若只是失去肩膀就好了。 Jason died a few months later, having just turned 32. 几个月后，贾森去世了，当时他刚刚过完32岁生日。 When we were growing up, once, I had been dealt three terrible hands in a row and said, “Another crappy hand!” Jason shot me a look and said, “Never, ever complain about the hand you are dealt. It’s the law of averages; good hands, fair hands, terrible hands, they will even out in the long run. Any idiot can win when he is dealt a full house. The trick to poker is to play the hand you are dealt in the best possible way. You can win with a lousy hand, if you play it right.” 小时候，一次我连续抓了三张烂牌，说道：“又是一张烂牌！”贾森瞪了我一眼，说道：“永远不要抱怨自己手里抓到的牌。从长远来看，好牌、一般的牌和烂牌出现的机会均等。任何白痴抓到全家福都会赢。打扑克的乐趣就在于想办法把手里的牌以最佳方式打出去。如果打法得当，再烂的牌也能赢。” I hung out with my brother during his last months. 在哥哥最后的日子里我陪在他身边。 Late one night, I heard a sound coming from the kitchen. Jason was fussing with the teakettle. As we sat together drinking a cup of tea, he said, “Look how life takes care of things. I always thought that I would be afraid of death, but at the end, because the pain is so intense, I can feel myself getting ready to let go.” My brother was dealt the lousiest hand imaginable, and he played it right, to the end. 一天深夜，忽然听到厨房传出声响。贾森正手忙脚乱地烧开水。我们一起坐下来喝茶，他说：“看来老天自有安排。我总以为自己惧怕死亡，可是到最后，因为疼痛如此强烈，我已做好离去的准备了。”哥哥抓到了最烂的牌，但一直到游戏结束，他都打得很好。 I missed Jason terribly. 我异常思念贾森。 Jason and I are in a huge railroad station. We know that the train is about to leave, but we don’t have tickets. “Wait here,” Jason says. “I’ll take care of it.” When he returns, he is gasping for breath; he hands me a ticket and, pointing, says, “You’d better hurry; the train is about to leave on that track over there.” 我和贾森置身于一个大如洞穴的火车站。我们知道列车即将驶出，但没有车票。“你在这儿等着别动，我去买票。”贾森对我说。他回来时气喘吁吁地递给我一张票，指着前方说：“赶快跑过去，停在那条铁轨上的列车马上就要出发了。” “Aren’t you coming?” “你不跟我一起走吗？” “I’m afraid I can’t join you. You’ll have to go it alone from here on. Don’t worry, and don’t look back. You will be fine.” “我恐怕不能陪你了。从现在起你得自己照顾自己。别担心，也别回头，一切都会顺利的。” I take a deep breath, and I hop on the train just as it is beginning to move. I look back; Jason waves to me in a sad salute. 随即我深吸一口气，在列车开动的那一刹那一跃而上。回头看时，贾森正伤心地朝我挥手道别。 When I was seventeen years old, my brother, in defiance of our uncles, guided me to the right track, put me on a fast train, and, then, when my own family and career were secure, he died. He remained behind, forever at the station. 在我17岁那年，哥哥违抗了舅舅们的意愿，指引我步入一条正确的轨道，把我送上一列快车。如今我拥有了美满的家庭和蒸蒸日上的事业，他却永远离开了我。他将永远伫立在那座站台上，离我越来越远。

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  果果平

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  本书讲述了阿伦森从一个自卑、腼腆、资质平平、在他人眼中甚至是愚笨的小男孩成长为闻名全球的心理学大师，晚年双目几近失明仍有文学著作的奋斗历程。阿伦森的一生有着不凡的成就，不只是他个人辉煌的事业，还有他对家庭倾注的浓浓爱意，让几个子女在充满温情的环境中成长成材，将爱和智慧传承至第三代。 再精彩的人生都不会完美，当看到阿伦森成长道路上的明灯、精神世界的导师、对他关爱备至的哥哥贾森英年早逝时，对贾森的惋惜和对阿伦森永失至亲的痛苦体会让我动容。 阅读此书感悟最深处即阿伦森所说：“人生犹如过山车，每一段我都喜欢。如果非要我选择最喜欢的一段，我会说：此时此刻。”